Jennifer Mary Yourkavitch and Robert Edward Carty

Wednesday, July 4, 2001 - 11:00 a.m.

The Blue Orchid Inn, Mertztown, Pennsylvania

Welcoming

Good morning and Welcome. My name is Sherry Cianciola. I am a non-Denominational officiant, and I am honored to be here today to celebrate the marriage of Jen and Rob. Before we begin, there are a few items of information I would like to go over with you, so that the ceremony will be as wonderful and meaningful as Rob and Jen deserve it to be.

We have included the opportunity for you to greet the people around you with a sign or gesture of peace. When that moment comes, I just invite you to offer a friendly greeting or to simply say, "Peace" or Peace be with you" to the folks around you. A genuine wish for peace may not be something you are accustomed to doing, but it is a profound statement and is most appropriate in this setting.

During the most important part of the ceremony, the exchange of vows, there is a question I will direct to you, the guests and witnesses. I will ask you if you will support Jen and Rob with your love for the rest of their lives. When I ask you that question, I would like you to respond with, "We will". So let's do a little practice of that, so it will be enthusiastic in that important moment. Here's the end of that question: Will you affirm them in the vows they make today? (Audience responds, "We will.")

When Jen and Rob are pronounced married, they will share their first wedded kiss. This would be an appropriate time for applause, as well as at the very end when we send our newlyweds off into their new life together. Your applause will help them to feel surrounded by the love you have for them. While the wedding is a public event, a marriage is a private one. Rob and Jen will spend a few private moments together immediately following the ceremony to reflect and rejoice in their marriage. At the end of this "bonding time", they will rejoin us.

And so, you might be wondering why you are here and why we are here? If they are married in law, is that not enough? Not really, the law cannot encompass the warmth and affection, the shared experiences that have brought Jen and Rob together, or the dreams and sense of fun that they expect will keep them together. So if they wanted to say something special to each other-why all of this? Well, the answer to that is you.

They could have stood in the kitchen any Wednesday morning they chose and say most of what they are going to say today-but you would not have been there. So you might have thought that you were here because of them. In truth, they are here because of you. You, as the ones most near and dear to them, are the ones whose love has brought them to this time of their lives. They want and need you to share this with them. You are not here as an audience. Your presence is an intimate part of this ceremony. You are not present to hear recited words. You are to listen to the taking of vows. You are not here to watch a show. You will witness their rite of passage. And so it is not only appropriate for each one of you to be here, it is necessary for Jen and Rob to feel all the tenderness you hold for them today.

And so, without any further ado, our beautiful couple awaits their wedding. Please stand as you are able

I will now read from,"A Heart Full of Love" by Javan

Teach me, to see the world in a different light, the Light of Your Love

Help me, to Learn to cherish each new day, and all the opportunities that it brings

Give me, the strength to handle life's problems, knowing that you are beside me

Let me, be comfortable in the knowledge, that since you have come into my life

I will never walk alone

Bride and Groom's Processional

(Music: Pachalbel's Canon in D)

Rob processes down the aisle to Sherry's left while Jen processes down the aisle to Sherry's right, both meeting in front of Sherry at the front center.

Words of Gathering

Dearly Beloved: We are gathered under Heaven's skies this morning in celebration of Love. As friends and family of Rob and Jen, we have come to surround them with our loving presence as they enter into the sacred state of matrimony. Our gathering here gives witness to the love and commitment they are about to express, and in that expression they will move out from here to begin the next step in life's journey, the journey as husband and wife.

And so for today, for here and for now, no matter how far we have come to be here, whatever differences we may think we have, let us be one family around Jen and Rob, for that is what they need from us today.

I remind all of our guests that you have been invited here for a holy purpose, not just to witness, but to participate fully with your thoughts and prayers, asking God to bless this couple and their married life. You are here because this couple feels close to you and asks that you join with them in this dedication of sacred purpose. You represent symbolically all the people in the world who will be touched in any way by the life of this couple. You represent their friends and family, now and forever. They have chosen this act of marriage and this public, holy ceremony in which to proclaim it. We all thank God who brought them together and ask that divine light always guide their way.

Jen and Rob, today we celebrate a sacred agreement between the two of you. Jen, Rob is God's gift to you, but he is not a gift for you alone. In your love, this man will find within himself a greater sense of who he is meant to be. You are asked to see the good in this man, to accept him for who he is and who he shall be, that thus he might be healed and made strong. May this man find, literally, the kingdom of heaven through the love you share.

And so it is with you also, Rob, that although Jen is God's gift to you, she is not a gift intended for you alone. You are asked to so love this woman, that in your love she might find herself as she was created to be, so beautiful and strong and brave and true, that the entire world might be blessed by the presence of a woman who shines so. May she relax in your arms as she has never relaxed before. May she know, from now on, that there is one on whose love she can depend forever.

Our prayer for both of you is that you might find in each other's love such profound acceptance and total release, that together you might experience the forgiveness that will free the world. May you create a piece of heaven on earth.

From this point forward, Jen, Rob's needs will carry the same priority as your own. Likewise, Rob, from this point forward, Jen's needs will be seen to be as important as your own. You shall not be as two conflicting or competing forces, but rather the energies of your lives shall blend into harmony and oneness through Grace.

To both of you, I enjoin you to release at this time all impediments to your joy. In this moment may you forgive each other any past transgressions, that you might enter this marriage reborn. Allow the waters of forgiveness to wash you clean. You are given the chance to begin your lives again this day, with radical renewal through the power of this commitment. You commit to a compelling future for yourselves, for any children you might one day have, and to any part you might play in the healing of the world.

I would also like to ask at this time if anyone has a problem with this marriage, because after today, please keep it quiet! As of this ceremony, may your tongues be still and utter only the positive, that your energies might support these two, that any words you say might bless and protect the holiness of this bond.

I ask for blessings on this couple, their love, and their marriage as long as they shall live in love together. May they each enjoy a healthy life filled with joy, love, and stability. Blessed by the element of air. May you be blessed with communication, intellectual growth and wisdom. Blessed by the element of fire, may you be blessed with harmony, vitality, creativity and passion. Blessed by the element of water, may you be blessed with friendship, intuition, caring, understanding and love. Blessed by the element of earth, may you be blessed with tenderness, happiness, compassion, and sensuality...

Love has its seasons, the same as does the Earth. In the spring of love is the discovery of each other, the pulse of the senses, the getting to know the mind and heart of the other; a blooming like the buds and flowers of springtime. In the summer of love comes the strength, the commitment to each other, the most active part of life, perhaps including the giving of life back to itself through children; the sharing of joys and sorrows, the learning to be humans who are each complete and whole but who can merge each with the other, as the trees grow green and tall in the heat of the sun.

In the fall of love is the contentment of love that knows the other completely. Passion remains and ease of companionship. The heart smoothes love into a steady light, glorious as the autumn leaves. In the winter of love, there may be parting and sorrow, but love remains, as do the stark and bare tree trunks in the snow, ready for the renewal of love in the spring as life and love begin anew.

Jen and Rob, you are here because separately and for a long time, you have each chosen the path of self-knowledge. You have paid attention to who you are, what your life means and where you are going. But today, this day of your wedding, is the occasion of the shedding of your solitary journeys in favor of bonding yourself with one another, and your marriage, as well as being the state of joining with another human being, is also the union of two people committed to the process of their own becoming.

We ask that the vision they have of one another be always informed by the spellbinding, radiant power that first brought them together, and we pray that as they move into the hallowed ground that is marriage they may always hold one another in the light of all light, the love of all love.

For them, out of the routine of ordinary life the extraordinary has happened. They have experienced the delicious stages of romance, to discover the love of substance and depth they are consecrating with marriage today. Romance is play, but true love is intention, and it is their intending to love for life that we are celebrating today. But today is also a celebration for the rest of us, for it is also a pleasure for us to see love in bloom, to participate in the wedding of two people so delightfully suited to one another.

Sign of Peace

Sherry: Jen, Rob, friends, loved ones, let us now offer to one another a greeting or a sign of peace. You may be seated.

Honoring of the Parents

As Rob and Jen come before us to be married, they wish to acknowledge and thank their parents for the gift of life and the values they so generously instilled within them, and to thank all of their family and friends for all of their love and support. They feel that without your kindness and caring they would not be where they are today.

Readings

Rob: Two Trees by Janet Miles

A portion of your soul has been entwined with mine. A gentle kind of togetherness, while separate we stand. As two trees deeply rooted in separate plots of ground, while their topmost branches come together, forming a miracle of lace against the heavens.

Sherry: Excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.

"When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, " he asked, " or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand...but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

Jen: Why Marriage? by Mari Nichols

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person with all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me, who won't hold them against me, who loves me when I'm unlikable, who sees the small child in me, and who looks for the divine potential of me...because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night with someone who thanks God for me, with someone I feel blessed to hold...because marriage means opportunity to grow in love in friendship....because marriage is a discipline to be added to a list of achievements...

Reflection

As a way of honoring Rob and Jen, I have included in their own words the gifts they acknowledge in one another. This adds a personal touch to their ceremony which they may enjoy reading from time to time as a reminder of the honor they hold in their hearts, one for the other.

About Rob, Jen says, I love most Rob's sense of humor, interest in world affairs, open mind and willingness to try new things, his unqualified and unconditional love for me. I have never felt so completed loved by another before.

Rob, in his reflections about Jen says, I love most her thoughtfulness, her unconditional friendship, her boundless curiosity, her ability to think critically, her deep interests in world affairs, humanitarian work, art and adventure.

Their relationship is a true partnership; one of "Soul Mates." They truly enjoy each other's company. Their life together is built on trust and each wanting the best for the other. Together they seek a never-ending adventure-a passionate journey through the realm of human experience, committed to continuing to grow together. They possess a sense of unity, a tremendous amount of love, respect and admiration for each other, passion and friendship.

Rob and Jen, you have been drawn to each from your first meeting, an attraction which has only grown in strength. In addition, early on you faced your desire to hold only truth and honesty between you, and began striving to change and grow to be more loving toward one another. You have developed common values, interests and dreams, shared friends and family, happy memories, the ability to be lighthearted and have fun together, to laugh, as well as a commitment to continue growing in love, working to build a secure and full life together.

In the words of Margaret Keip on marriage, "It is a covenant intended not to provide a haven from pain or from anger or sorrow. Life offers no such haven. Instead, marriage is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk loving, to risk living and sharing from the center of oneself. This is worth everything."

Rob and Jen, we surround you on this day because you are willing to create that sanctuary for one another and to risk a life of such living and sharing, and we thank you for bringing the miracle of your love for each other into our lives today.

Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience, and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. It is the joyous union of two people whose comradeship and mutual understanding have flowered in romance. Today Rob and Jen proclaim their love and commitment to the world, and we gather here to rejoice, with them in the new life they now undertake together.

The secret of love and marriage is similar to that of spirituality itself. It is the emergence of the greater self. Such is the privilege of husband and wife - to be each himself, herself and yet another; to face the world strong, with the courage of two.

To make this relationship work, therefore, takes more than love. It takes trust, to know in your heart that you want only the best for each other. It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so. And it takes faith, to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you both. While love is our natural state of being, these other qualities are not easy to come by. They are not a destination, but a journey.

The art of married life is an inner spiritual journey. It is a mutual enrichment, a give and take between two personalities, a mingling of two endowments, which diminish neither, but enhances both. Jen and Rob, the oneness you have between you is, in the final analysis, the greatest argument for the existence of a loving creator, who fashioned creatures capable of abundant love, you bring into our midst today.

Roses Ritual

The coming together of "two souls" is part of the cycle of growth-creating and re-creating boundaries. May you, Rob and Jen, give gratitude for the old boundaries that defined your unique individuality, even as you create a new joint boundary with the circle of your love (Sherry creates a circle with rose petals around the Jen and Rob).

May you find the stability of a joint center where you can welcome change. And most of all, may you receive each other joyfully, with open hearts, into this marriage (returning to their places in front of Sherry).

Counsel of Marriage

Jennifer Mary Yourkavitch, Robert Edward Carty, you are about to enter into a union, which is most sacred and most serious. Most sacred because it is the sanctuary within which your love may bloom and flourish to bless all who are touched by it, and in our ever-increasing awareness of the vastness of our universe, who is to say how vast the impact of your love may be. Most serious because it requires of those who enter into it a complete and unreserved giving of self. It will bind you together in a relationship so close and so intimate that it will profoundly affect your entire future. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its success and its failure, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. May, then, this love with which you join your hands and hearts today never fail, but grow deeper and stronger as the years go by.

The relationship between husband and wife is the foundation of society because not only do they have it in their power to bring fresh new lives into this world, but also their home and family should be, in the words of our Buddhist teacher, "an open fortress of faith" that is invincible to attack from the outside, yet is open to all who approach in friendship or with seeking minds; a firm base founded upon trust, from which the family can go forth daily into society, shining with the vital energy, wisdom, and compassion that arises from the universal life-force flowing through their lives.

I hope you will think of these words of wisdom from time to time, especially when difficulties arise to test your fundamental respect for each other, because ultimately it is this respect, based on the dignity of life, that matters far more than the passion of love.

The joining together of Man and Woman in the sacred rite of marriage brings together great forces from which may flow the seeds of future generations to be nurtured within the womb of time. Within every masculine nature lies the feminine, within every feminine nature lies the masculine. The interplay of masculine and feminine forces when flowing freely in a union based upon true love finds many expressions. This union is truly holy.

I wish you much happiness and fulfillment throughout your lives together.

Statement of Intent

Do you Rob with full knowledge of yourself, of one another and of the sacredness of this union choose Jen to be your wife? Do you choose happily and in our midst to speak the words, which shall bind your hearts and lives?

Rob: I do

Do you Jen with full knowledge of yourself, of one another and of the sacredness of this union choose Rob to be your husband? Do you choose happily and in our midst to speak the words, which shall bind your hearts and lives?

Jen: I do

Friends, loved ones and attendants: you are the witnesses to this sacred union. Will you support this couple with your love, uphold them with your wisdom and, through the days and years that lie ahead, will you affirm them in the vows they make today?

Guests: We will

Exchange of Vows

Jen, please face Rob, taking his right hand in yours and your left hand in his to form the Lemniscate, symbol of infinity and repeat after me:

I promise to love, honor, and cherish you/to be your loyal partner/to share life's joys and sorrows/to respect your mind, heart, body and soul/to be faithful to the sacredness of this covenant/for as long as we both shall live in love. I will be your dearest friend, your lover, and the mother of your children. I give myself to you as I am, and as I will be, for all of my life, and it is with great joy that I take you as my husband.

Rob, please repeat after me:

I promise to love, honor, and cherish you/to be your loyal partner/to share life's joys and sorrows/to respect your mind, heart, body and soul/to be faithful to the sacredness of this covenant/for as long as we both shall live in love. I will be your dearest friend, your lover, and the father of your children. I give myself to you as I am, and as I will be, for all of my life, and it is with great joy that I take you as my wife.

Blessing and Exchange of Rings

For many years, rings have served as symbols of a loving relationship. Now Jen and Rob come to exchange rings. As often as you see these rings upon your fingers may you remember the vows you made today, and may you renew your determination to make your love last and your relationship grow.

Please bring forward the rings. (Jen takes her ring, to be given to Rob; Rob takes his ring, to be given to Jen)

May the Transcendent Power of Love, present in this moment, bless this precious metal, to be worn as a sign of the bond of love between you.

Jen, please repeat after me: With this ring, I give to you my promise //that from this day forward you shall not walk alone.// May my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home.// May God bless you always.// May we walk together through all things.// May you feel deeply loved, for indeed you are.// May you always see your innocence in my eyes. //With this ring, I promise I shall do my best; I shall always try. //I feel so blessed to call you my husband. With all that I am and all that I have I honor you.

Rob, please repeat after me: With this ring, I give to you my promise //that from this day forward you shall not walk alone.// May my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home.// May God bless you always.// May we walk together through all things.// May you feel deeply loved, for indeed you are.// May you always see your innocence in my eyes. //With this ring, I promise I shall do my best; I shall always try. //I feel so blessed to call you my wife. With all that I am and all that I have I honor you.

Declaration of Marriage

And now, Jen and Rob, by the authority vested in me by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, but much more important, by the authority vested in me by the fact that I believe in the power of your agreement this day, the look of love in your eyes, and the seriousness with which you make this commitment; and because I believe my faith is shared by others gathered here, it is my honor and my delight to now pronounce you, henceforth from this moment, husband and wife.

(Kiss without Prompting!) (Applause!)

Jen picks up bouquest from table.

Call to Prayer

Universal Spirit of Love, pour down your grace upon Rob and Jen that they may fulfill the vows that they have pledged this day. May they reflect your steadfast love in their life-long faithfulness to each other. From your great store of strength, give them power and patience, affection and understanding, courage and love. We ask that in every time of difficulty they may find the path to growth and maturity. May all the events of their lives bring them closer to one another. May the world be the better for the life of their love.

Benediction and Sending Forth

Will everyone please rise as you are able. Listen now to the words of this blessing I speak on your behalf, sending Jen and Rob into their life's journey together. Rob and Jen,

Now may you depart in peace and joy, may your love disperse fear, your hope endure, your faith in each other and in this radiant universe, in which the mystery of love happens, grow and flourish (From to Love Honor and Save Twice a Week, David A. Johnson).

Apache Wedding Song - Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life together and may your days be good and long upon the Earth.

Recessional

(Music: Handel: from Royal Fireworks-La Rejoissance)

Jen and Rob recess and depart for bonding time together.